I found $20 in my old pants and I\u2019m ready to take over Robinhood - Science and Nerds<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/scienceandnerds.com\/2022\/08\/04\/i-found-20-in-my-old-pants-and-im-ready-to-take-over-robinhood\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I found $20 in my old pants and I\u2019m ready to take over Robinhood - Science and Nerds\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Source: Robinhood is trading just above $10 a share as of this publication, which is about a 73 percent decrease from its price at IPO, $38. The market cap is now under $10 billion. Friends, it\u2019s possible. The more the shares fall, the easier it is for the memestonkers to snatch. 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\n

Robinhood is trading just above $10 a share as of this publication, which is about a 73 percent decrease from its price at IPO<\/a>, $38. The market cap is now under $10 billion. Friends, it\u2019s possible. The more the shares fall, the easier it is for the memestonkers to snatch. How would a bunch of retail investors seize Robinhood? Why not use a DAO?<\/p>\n
\nIt\u2019s time to seize the means of investing<\/q><\/aside>\n<\/div>\nThere\u2019s been a lot of speculation this year <\/a>\u2014 especially after the first round of layoffs, when Robinhood cut 9 percent of its staff \u2014 that the app-based trading service is an attractive takeover target. Yesterday, Robinhood cut further<\/a>: almost a quarter of its remaining staff, including its showy chief product officer hire they got from Google. It also released its earnings<\/a> a day early, showing dips in revenue, monthly active users, and <\/em>assets under custody.<\/p>\n
Robinhood\u2019s big sell was democratizing finance, remember? Fuck AMC and GameStop<\/a>, my internet-addled ape friends<\/a>. It\u2019s time to seize the means of investing: RobinhoodDAO. I will grant that The Verge<\/em>\u2019s ethics policy prevents me from owning any crypto, but don\u2019t let that stop you from taking my bad ideas seriously. You wanna prove to the world that DAOs are big and important? Time for a corporate raid.<\/p>\n
Well, yes, Robinhood\u2019s hemorrhaging monthly active users \u2014 in the second quarter of 2022, they had one-third fewer than a year before. But here\u2019s a fun thing about Robinhood\u2019s young user base<\/a>: They\u2019re going to get older. Usually old people have more money than young ones. So let\u2019s assume some churn, but if we can get one-third of these kiddos<\/a> to stick, especially the ones with money already, we could make up for the loss in user numbers in the long term through, uh, compound interest? This makes at least as much financial sense as Elon Musk\u2019s Twitter takeover<\/a>, so I look forward to getting calls from banks for debt financing.<\/p>\n
We gotta strike while the iron is hot because I think Sam Bankman-Fried is also interested<\/a> and he has a lot more money. SBF has been on an acquisition spree lately, and Bloomberg<\/em> reports he\u2019s kicking Robinhood\u2019s tires<\/a>. Though my unruly curly hair is more sumptuous than his, I don\u2019t think that\u2019s how shareholders are going to make their decision. Plus SBF \u2014 as he is known \u2014 already has a 7.6 percent stake<\/a>.<\/p>\n
\nI just found $20 in another pair of pants<\/q><\/aside>\n<\/div>\nAnd if we don\u2019t hurry, we\u2019re going to have more to worry about than SBF. See, if he buys Robinhood, they don\u2019t really have to rejigger the business at all \u2014 it can stay DraftKings but for stocks. But if you think about your JPMorgans and your Charles Schwabs and your Morgan Stanleys, well, it might be worth it to buy market share among The Youngs<\/a>.<\/p>\n
Now of course, two-thirds of the voting power for Robinhood is concentrated among the Merry Men, founders Vlad Tenev and Baiju Bhatt. We can solve that, too. They\u2019ve given a lot of lip service to financial inclusion, so I propose that we give them what they want: an exciting think tank working toward financial inclusion. They can give TED Talks and host conferences and generally be applauded. That\u2019ll probably be good enough, because if there\u2019s one through line to Tenev\u2019s public appearances<\/a>, it\u2019s that he desperately wants the audience to like him.<\/p>\n
You are saying, Liz, what about the regulatory overhang? Didn\u2019t they just get fined, like, $30 million for violating anti-money-laundering laws on their cryptocurrency stuff<\/a>? Isn\u2019t Gary Gensler repeatedly kicking them<\/a>, in the hopes of distracting everyone from the Securities and Exchange Commission\u2019s disastrous inaction<\/a> on cryptocurrency scams<\/a>? Yes, my child, yes. But here\u2019s the thing: with risk comes reward! That\u2019s the entire proposition of investing!<\/p>\n
Oh, I just found $20 in another pair of pants. Great, we can add that to the bid! But we\u2019d better hurry up or SBF and his inadequately moisturized hair are going to take Robinhood before you and I have a chance to have any fun at all. <\/p>\n
So let\u2019s start a DAO. Making a Dune <\/em>series<\/a> is some loser shit \u2014 let\u2019s fuck up finance. We\u2019ll incorporate in the Virgin Islands or something, and then we\u2019ll raise a bunch of money. Maybe we can introduce a \u201cutility token\u201d<\/a> for this, where one token equals one vote, and we can let people speculate on the token, and then strategically release our reserves to raise even more money. Robinhood said it wanted to democratize finance. Let\u2019s take the company at its word.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/br><\/code><\/p>\n
Source: https:\/\/www.theverge.com\/2022\/8\/3\/23290510\/robinhood-acquisition-target-takeover-dao-lol<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Source: Robinhood is trading just above $10 a share as of this publication, which is about a 73 percent decrease from its price at IPO, $38. The market cap is now under $10 billion. Friends, it\u2019s possible. The more the shares fall, the easier it is for the memestonkers to snatch. How would a bunch […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":11614,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"pagelayer_contact_templates":[],"_pagelayer_content":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,92],"tags":[93],"class_list":["post-11613","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-technology","category-tldr","tag-tldr"],"yoast_head":"\nI found $20 in my old pants and I\u2019m ready to take over Robinhood - Science and Nerds<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/scienceandnerds.com\/2022\/08\/04\/i-found-20-in-my-old-pants-and-im-ready-to-take-over-robinhood\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I found $20 in my old pants and I\u2019m ready to take over Robinhood - Science and Nerds\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Source: Robinhood is trading just above $10 a share as of this publication, which is about a 73 percent decrease from its price at IPO, $38. 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